Don't Mess With The Quiet Chick

Don't Mess With The Quiet Chick 

by Wahida Clark

Synopis- Niiema is a quiet chick who only goes to college, loves her parents, and stays to herself. She decided after her finals for the semester that she would go out with her friend, Barbie who is the opposite in every way, shape, and form. Niiema decides to go to the bar before working out, and she meets a man, a LARGE man. The things that happen to her are beyond anything she has ever experienced. Had she known that her whole sex life would be turned upside down, she would have shown up a year before. The question is, can she be a quiet chick on the street and a wild chick in the sheets?

Book Review - College friends Barbie and Niiema go off for a night at a club to celebrate the end of the semester and meet up with "D", a former ballplayer for a night of oral sexual exploration which evolved into a weekend of chaotic activity. While it's stated that Naiiemai is the "quiet chick" she's not been very quiet at any point in this short story. Hesitant? Yes. Quiet church mouse? No.

I have to say I am scratching my head a little with this one. It's erotic fiction from the standpoint that its intention is to arouse the reader through sexual situations, acts, and language.  Yes. It had a few sexual acts. Yes, it had some obscene language. No, it did not arouse this reader in the slightest.  For these elements to work there has to be chemistry between those engaged in these situations. There was none. There has to be descriptive language used that leaves no room for doubt of what will happen or the language allows the reader's mind to imagine what happens and want to be the hero or heroine.  It needs to be sexy. Unfortunately, it was not erotic. It began with the awkward dialogue and hook up at the club and continued through to the chaotic ending. Most of the interactions left me perplexed and confused. 

What I would love to see happen is the short story given a once over with a bit of developmental editing.  I think this will allow the disconnect between the characters and the lack of erotic activity, chemistry and nonsensical dialogue and actions to be addressed.  

While this short did not work for me,  I may be in the minority :), you can get your copy below and support the author by leaving a review.